Humor Articles
Career advice from your favorite unemployed student
Internship season! That time of the year when you find yourself hating your best friends because they have a job before you and googling which billionaire’s relative goes to the University to see if you can befriend them for the employment long-con. Gates, Bezos, Buffett, Musk — I mean, there’s got to be at least one Kennedy around here somewhere.
A collection of tips from fourth year women
Being the kind person I am, I have decided to bestow some of this valuable knowledge on you all as you begin to navigate University life. Here are some tips and tricks for you, and you can trust these lessons were learned for a reason.
How to boost your resume with your super productive coronavirus summer
Unless you are one of the lucky few, you’ve probably come to terms with the fact that you don’t have much going on this summer. Your internship got cancelled, the pool you lifeguard for is closed or you’re realizing this summer might not be the time to launch your stand-up comedy tour. Regardless of how you’ve come to this conclusion, you still need to boost your resume, right? That is why I consulted a U.Va. Career Center employee on how you can pad your resume with the activities you’re already doing at home.
Job Opening — Media Manager for Governor Glenn Youngkin
Do you have right-leaning politics, no old problematic tweets and a lot of time on your hands? Governor Glenn Youngkin might have the job for you!
If U.Va. were honest about what it means to have a Lawn Room
Are you a third-year student who somehow missed the September wave of lease signings? Do you have a 4.0 GPA and no will to live? Let’s add one more thing to your list of to-do’s — applying to live in a Lawn room next year!
Predictions for the end of the dumpster fire that has been 2020
This year has been the craziest all-downhill roller coaster imaginable. We’ve observed so many unusual moments in pop-culture and geopolitics both domestically and internationally. If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we need to expect the unexpected. With that said, I have compiled some of my own predictions about the concluding four month of 2020.
The stages of staying home for classes
While some of you may have spent your spring break trying your hand at virus roulette because you didn’t want to cancel your trip abroad, a good portion of our school population went home and with that comes withdrawal. These are the stages and symptoms to expect as you move through your weeks away from Mr. Jefferson’s University.
The University announces new TikTok initiative
We are pleased to announce that after much student uproar, University President Jim Ryan and the rest of the University’s board members have decided we are at a crucial point in education.